


There For Him

by LoveFandoms828



Series: Hannor [Hank x Connor] (Detroit : Become Human) One-shots [4]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Affection, Alcohol, Almost crying, Angst, Bathing/Washing, Blushing, Cold and Warm, Connor cares about him, Connor is a deviant, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depressed Hank Anderson, Hank Anderson Deserves Happiness, Hurt/Comfort, Inner sadness, Inspired by Fanart, Inspired by Music, Kissing, M/M, Male bonding (?), Peaceful [at the end], References to Depression, Referencing feeling Suicidal, Sad, Soft Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Staring, Staying around each other, Tears, They're still partners, Thinking, [Just slightly], [a bit], being there for him, he comforted Hank, implied/referenced drinking, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28010514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveFandoms828/pseuds/LoveFandoms828
Summary: 'All I want is to feel a bit. We could fall in love, you could slit my wrist. I could tell you now that they both 'gonna feel the same. I've been wide awake, I've been blacking out. I've been locked away, could you let me out? 'Cause I've grown so tired of existing in this cage. I remember when I used to feel (it was beautiful). But I guess that's something you can steal (and I lost it all). Now nothing seems to feel too real (unbelievable). What have I been running from? How did I become so numb? I'm so numb. I give up. What have I been running from? How did I become so numb? All I want is a night of sleep. You could knock me out, I could rest in peace. I don't mind if I get to close my eyes. I've been day to day, I've been dying slow. If you find a way, could you let me know? I remember when I used to feel (it was beautiful). How did I become so numb? I'm so numb. What have I been running from? How did I become so numb? All I want is to feel a bit. All I want is to feel a bit.'
Relationships: Hank Anderson & Connor, Hank Anderson/Connor
Series: Hannor [Hank x Connor] (Detroit : Become Human) One-shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042644
Kudos: 4





	There For Him

**Author's Note:**

> 'Would anyone notice.. If tonight I disappeared? Would anyone chase me.. And say the words that I need to hear? That I'm no burden. Not so worthless. Bent so much that I just might break. All-consuming. So confusing, the questions that keep me awake. Would anyone care, would anyone cry.. Would anything change, would you all be just fine? 'Cause I need a reason to not throw the fight. It just might save my life. Would anyone want me.. If they knew what was inside my head? Would anyone see me.. For the person that I really am? I won't lie. So hard to hide. I've never felt worthy of love. I would give up. Everything I have. Just to feel good enough. Would anyone care, would anyone cry.. Would anything change, would you all be just fine? 'Cause I need a reason to not throw the fight. It just might save my life. If you're dying inside.. Sick of being alive. Let me in, let me share in your pain. From my lungs through the dark. Spoken straight from the heart. Let me give you a reason to stay. If you're out there still lying awake. If you're out there still wondering. Would anyone care, would anyone cry.. If you finally gave up and turned out the light? The world would be changed if you left it behind. You can't be replaced, no, tonight is the night. You take back your life. Take back your life. Take back your life. Take back your life.' 
> 
> ××××××××××××××××××××××××××
> 
> If you didn't read the other parts before this one-shot, it's alright, since this can be read as a separate one-shot [not really connected to the other parts (like 'Remember, You're Alive' had been)]

It was late at night, dark and cold out there, with a chilly breeze. Like lately. It's almost midnight. That moonlight shined down and illuminated everything. In a dim lighting. It was beautiful, truly lovely. 

Although, right now, it wasn't to Hank. There was a darkness, like shadows, which surrounded him. 

Like he has been, Hank was drinking alcohol, taking another long sip of it. Just like usual. He had sat down in that dark room, in this silence. 

Hank was quiet and silent himself. He drank his alcohol, a bottle of liquor near him too. While he was just sitting there, only wanting quietness. It made him feel better. He was also thinking, deep in his thoughts again. Like always. 

He was staring into nothingness as well. His mind faded, into these thoughts now. Usually, having a drink, made him forget about it all. Everything that makes him feel sad. 

But, this time, it didn't. He doesn't know why. Or maybe he did. He does know why. He just didn't like to think about it. 

Hank hated to think about his past. It was like a living hell, a nightmare that he can't escape. He was depressed, filled with inner sadness. His heart ached, hurting ever so slightly. He was very sad, at the moment. It's killing him, slowly. He was still thinking, for a bit. 

He realized why. He knew it, that this sadness was caused by his thoughts, but it's not like he could stop thinking. He can't take it anymore. It seemed like. It was painful to remember, filling him with sorrow. 

Hank knows what was wrong. He noticed that, all this. It was because of something, a reason. Since the more alcohol that he drinks, the more he thinks about his son as he was remembering what happened to Cole. Although he couldn't get himself to stop drinking. Even if he wanted to. Which he really didn't. 

He remembered something else too. That night, when Connor asked him a question, after that younger male had found his gun. Realizing what it was about, even if he hadn't said anything right then and there. 

Until they were alone again. 

_ "Can I ask you a personal question, lieutenant?"  _

_ "Do all androids ask so many personal questions or is it just you?"  _

_ After a moment of silence, when Hank didn't say anything else, Connor asked that personal question.  _

_ "Why are you so determined to kill yourself?"  _

_ "Some things, I just can't forget... Whatever I do, they're always there... Eating away at me... I don't have the guts to pull the trigger... So, I kill myself a little every day..."  _

Hank has suicidal tendencies, that's something he wouldn't deny. That he had thought about suicide. He still thinks about it. But he hasn't tried to kill himself or play russian roulette. Because of being around Connor. Although he still thought about that, but he didn't try this anymore, wanting to stay with him. Though secretly. 

His heart was still aching. He felt it again. His mind was fading as it wandered. He wondered if anyone would care or cry. If he just gave up on life. 

He thought that he wasn't good enough. That he didn't deserve love or even happiness, for some reason, it's strange. 

These were thoughts that kept him awake at night. 

Hank eyed his gun, then his stare and cloudy gaze was on the ceiling. His eyes had gray circles under them, from not sleeping lately. 

He sighed softly, taking another sip from that glass of alcohol, then he does something else. Now he closed his eyes, for a second. Trying not to think about it either. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Meanwhile, Connor had already headed over to Hank's place, wanting to see him. 

Connor walked in, noticing how dark it was inside. Although he didn't seem to mind this much. He gazed over at that older male. 

He analyzed this other guy. He really looked at him. He realized something, that Hank was sad and feeling depressed, lonely even. 

Connor also noticed another thing. That Hank was eyeing a gun, before drinking once again. He knew what Hank was probably thinking now. Knowing what he was feeling. 

He wanted to be there for him. He wants to comfort him. He got close to Hank, slowly, walking towards him. 

Hank was gazing upwards at Connor. His eyes had sadness in there. There were slight tears in those icy blue eyes too, as he was about to cry, filled with a sad feeling in his heart. 

Connor was full of emotion as well, not wanting to see Hank like this ethier, that made him feel sad himself. He had a saddened expression and in his own eyes too. Those eyes shaded of a dark hazel brown. A darkened shading. 

He gets even closer to him. He also wrapped his arms around Hank, although not too tightly. He gives him a hug, comforting Hank in that way. He holds him just like this. 

Hank stayed there, in this other male's arms. He was already calming down, from all of that. He was staying in that embrace. He leaned against him, just slightly though. He breathed, in a quiet way, for a bit. 

Connor comforted him, still holding Hank close. He held him as he rubbed soothing circles into Hank's back, with such gentleness. Just like Hank had done for him, a few times before, to get him to calm down. He repeated it, exactly. Wanting Hank to feel better. He was still comforting him, more than ever before. 

This younger guy was staying close to that older male, for a bit. 

Hank gripped onto Connor's jacket, just slightly. He breathed quietly, ever so softly. He stayed in that embrace, slowly feeling better. He appreciated that, it seemed like, staying in this hold on him. He was breathing. Slowly again, almost calmly now. He takes deep breaths. 

Connor heard that, feeling it. He pulled apart from this embrace and that hug. He watched as this older male's chest was rising and falling as he's breathing. After that, he was staring at him, silently. In a calm way, very gentle and even warm. With that soft gaze towards this older male. 

He was gonna tell him what he thought. He wanted to comfort Hank more. To let him know what he means to him. He does love him. He had a feeling that he knew what Hank thought about himself. He wanted Hank to feel good enough and also loved. He wants to be the reason that Hank wants to live. To stay alive. Just like him. 

Connor wanted to stay in Hank's life, for more than a bit longer. For the rest of his life, for years. Even if it would eventually end (since androids live longer than humans), knowing that made him want to stay with Hank, in this life. 

He snapped out of it. Out of these thoughts, in his mind, to tell him all of this. That he thought. His stare was on Hank as he talked to him. A gaze that was filled with warmth, not so strangely enough, nicely affectionate and caring. 

"..Hank, please don't die. Don't hurt yourself, don't give up on life. I can't lose you. Stay with me. I'II be your reason to live. You're worth it. You're good enough, for me. Don't disappear. Don't leave me. You're not alone. You deserve happiness. I will make you feel loved. So stay. I'II stay with you too, always." 

"Connor.." 

Hank became silent. He didn't know what to say. So he just nodded at that, only to let Connor know that he heard him. Although he felt okay now, again, from this. 

It was like that darkness around him had faded away and this sadness within him was gone. Although not all the way, it was still there, deep down. Especially in his heart. Still, all that relieved him. 

But it was different. In a good way. His mood had become different too. Knowing why too. He was told what he needed to hear. Hank knew that. He felt better, hearing all of this. 

Hank finally calmed down, fully, slowly but surely enough. He wanted to stay with him, around Connor, being with him now. It made him feel alive again. 

Connor noticed that the bottle near them was empty. He grabbed this glass of alcohol, standing up and pouring out the rest of it into that sink. It all went down the drain. 

Then he was walking over to him again now. 

He helped him upwards, out of that chair and into the bathroom. He walked out of there, shutting the door behind himself. He gave him some privacy, leaving Hank alone for awhile. 

Hank was also appreciating this, it seemed like. He wanted that peace and quiet, just slightly. He still needed it, silence to think about it all. About everything, although not the past anymore. 

He ran a bath for himself. He stripped, taking off his clothes and putting them into a bin for dirty laundry. Then he turned it off, getting into the tub. 

That older male took a bath, to relax, loving this warm water and that quietness. He was silent himself as well. He closed his eyes again, for a second. Now he breathed calmly, in a quiet way. 

Connor walked in there, after a few minutes. He had some towels in his arms, for Hank, after this other male was finished bathing. He puts those towels down on a metal rack. 

Hank heard that. He opened his eyes, those blue hues, once more. To stare at him now. 

He was still in there, taking a warm bath. 

Connor leaned down, over him. Then he kneeled down. He kissed Hank's neck, gently. Slowly, softly. 

Hank blushed a bit, into a dark reddish shade. 

Connor was also putting his fingers through Hank's hair, those silver locks, with such gentleness as well. 

Hank was still blushing, just slightly flustered (by that gentle touch and kiss), although he lets him do what he wants. 

He stays where he was. He let out a hum too, out of his low voice. Already feeling okay, again now. 

It was all nice and calm. Warm, peaceful. In that silence between them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_An hour later -_ **

They both got out of there. Hank was wearing a gray shirt and some white boxers. Both guys walked into that older male's room. Hank was lying down on his bed, with a blanket over him. 

Connor was stripping slightly, taking off some layers of clothing. He takes off his jacket, tie, pants. He even took off his shoes and socks too. 

He gets in that bed as well, also under those blankets, with him. He felt warmer than ever, with Hank. 

Now they started cuddling, for a bit. They nuzzled against each other, comfortably. It's soft, coldness on warmth. It was comforting, in a way, strangely enough. They cuddled, for awhile. 

Hank smiled softly as he saw Connor getting close to him and noticed how cold that this other male was against his own warm skin. 

He felt comforted, by this closeness and that slight intimacy. It's strange yet nice. With silence again. 

Connor had a slight smile as well. He also kissed him, on the lips. In a gentle way too. He puts his fingers through Hank's hair, once more. In those gray locks, carefully now and gently again. He stays close to him. 

He would keep his promise, no matter what. To stay with him, forevermore. 

**Author's Note:**

> 'No one knows what it's like. To be the sad man. Behind blue eyes. And no one knows what it's like. To be hated. To be fated to telling only lies. But my dreams, they aren't as empty, as my conscience seems to be. I have hours, only lonely..' 
> 
> ××××××××××××××××××××××××××
> 
> Thanks for reading this 💙💜


End file.
